Choosing your maid of honour and best man can be hard, that’s for sure. When you decide who will be designated with those titles (and they accept the duty) you can share today’s blog post with them. Today is for all of you maid of honour’s and best men out there who have no idea what your newly bestowed title means for you.
Maid of Honour Duties
Let’s start with the Maid of Honour duties. I would argue this is one of the most important roles to support the bride on her wedding day. You’re the bride’s right hand, helping her with everything. From helping to choose decor, going to dress fittings, to helping her go to the bathroom on the wedding day, you’ll be there for everything!
Before the Wedding
Your involvement in the wedding planning process will depend on the bride’s personality. If she’s a Type A bride she’ll likely do most things herself and may not ask for much of your time. Brides of the opposite nature may want their Maid of Honour (MoH) to help make decisions with everything. Whichever personality your bride is, just support the bride as best you can.
A key appointment you’ll want to be at is the wedding dress shopping (that is if she asks you to be there). Supporting the bride during a high-stress decision time like this, can be very helpful to calm any nerves.
Traditionally the MoH hosts or co-hosts the bridal shower for the bride as well. You get to make all of the decisions here, from choosing a theme to deciding on food choices. This can be difficult if you have a lot on your plate between other wedding duties, work and your own personal life, so don’t be afraid to ask the other bridesmaids for help. **Key note: it’s your responsibility to write down all the gifts the bride receives and who gifted them, so the bride knows who to thank afterwards.
There’s one more party you get to plan, the bachelorette! Again with the bridesmaids you can plan something together. You may choose to do something extravagant like a destination bachelorette party, or something a little more low-key in your hometown. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it works for everyone in the group if possible.
Before the Ceremony
Make sure your bride looks her best. While you’re both getting ready together, the bride may ask your opinion on her hair or makeup. Be there for her and make sure she enjoys this time of pampering.
The unofficial title of a MoH is tribe leader. By this I mean you can be a huge help with instructing the bridesmaids and making sure everyone is aware of what they need to do and where they need to be. Keep an eye on the clock and make sure everyone is dressed and ready to go when you need to be leaving for photos or for the ceremony location.
While the bride may start to feel the wedding day jitters it’s your job to keep her calm. You’re her best friend so make sure she is calm and is enjoying her wedding day, because it goes by so fast.
At the Ceremony
You’ll walk down the aisle after the bridesmaids and before the flower girl, ring bearer and bride. Once the bride has walked down the aisle and reached the groom, you may want to fix the veil or train of the dress so they don’t look crumpled in the photos. When the bride is reading her vows and exchanging rings she won’t be able to hold her bouquet and that’s where you can help as well. You may also be asked to hold the groom’s ring so be prepared to give that when asked for. As much fun as your MoH title is, there’s actually a legal job that you need to complete as well; signing the marriage license as a witness. By witnessing the signatures you’re making the marriage legal and official.
At the Reception
While the train of the wedding dress is beautiful, it can get in the way during the reception so this is why it’s bustled. It’s your job (along with assistance from the bridesmaids) to bustle the bride’s dress. Just as there are hundreds of different wedding dresses, there are as many different ways to bustle a dress. The easiest thing to do is attend a wedding dress fitting and have the tailors show you how to bustle the dress. Speaking of the wedding dress, you’ll likely have to help the bride with her dress when she needs to use the bathroom as well. Just a forewarning. 😉 Giving toasts at a wedding is another tradition that you may have to take part in. Don’t stress too much about this job. Just write something short and sweet expressing your thoughts about your best friend and her new husband. You can choose to be sentimental or funny but either way just write something from the heart.
During the wedding day it can be really easy for the bride to go hours without food or water so make sure she’s eating soon after the ceremony and is drinking lots of water as to not get dehydrated.
At the end of the night make sure the wedding gifts are being taken care of as well. While you may not have to deliver the gifts yourself, make sure someone else is taking care of them and knows what the plan is.
Best Man Duties
The list of duties for the best man is typically shorter than the MoH’s, but just as important.
Before the Wedding
Just like the MoH, you’ll be the right hand man for the groom, providing support and opinions when needed.
Likely your favourite part of the job will be planning the bachelor party. While you don’t need to go all out, do plan something amazing for your friend that he would enjoy doing with you and the other groomsmen. You want to choose something he’d like, rather than choosing something that just spikes your interests.
Day of the Wedding
Before the ceremony the groom may have some pre-wedding jitters so it’s your job to keep him calm and relaxed. Crank up the tunes and just relax as a group while you’re getting ready together. Before you leave for photos or the ceremony, be sure everyone is dressed properly and has their boutonnieres. On that note, keep an eye on the clock so you’re on time as well. No need to stress out the bride wondering where all you guys are.
Traditionally the best man will hold the rings if there isn’t a ring bearer (or the maid of honour hasn’t been tasked with this). If holding the rings is your duty, guard them carefully as the rings are a key part of the wedding ceremony. While the ceremony may seem to drag or bore you, be sure it doesn’t show on your face. Standing right next to the groom you’ll be captured in most of the photos during the ceremony. You don’t want your yawn to show in the background of their ceremony photos, so stay alert and excited for the couple instead. Your role as best man also comes with a legal duty; to sign the marriage license as a witness. This process makes the marriage legal and official.
Once the reception starts make sure the groom gets something to eat and drinks some water so he can keep up with the party that will go all night. You don’t want him to tap out early from the dance floor because he doesn’t have any energy.
During the reception traditionally you’ll be asked to give a speech as well. Just as I mentioned earlier for the Maid of Honour, keep it short and sweet. Share a funny story from your past with the groom, talk about the bride and groom together and leave it at that.
When everyone knows what’s expected of them during the wedding planning process or on the day of the wedding it makes everything go smoother. So be sure to share this blog post with your maid of honour or best man so they can be on their top game for you. If you have any other tips or responsibilities for the Maid of Honour or Best Man, write in the comments below.